Alex Rodriguez: The Beginning of the End

Oh, A-Rod,

You were once a home run god.

Turns out all along

You were baseball’s Lance Armstrong.

Kiss goodbye to your Cooperstown plaque

As the Yankees ask for 275 million dollars back.

Three Verses Analysing Canadian and Global Apathy Concerning the CFL

“You need to see these guys play!”

The commercials on TSN say.

“We don’t,” replies everyone,
“Eight teams and three downs don’t seem like much fun.

"With all but two squads reaching the post-season

Why would anyone watch without a weird reason?"

The Induction of Deacon White, Jacob Ruppert and Hank O'Day into the Baseball Hall of Fame

“I remember watching Deacon White play,”

Said no one living yesterday.

Inducting such a distant generation

Is a called strike out for the game’s current incarnation.  

Bill Shankly vs Luis Suarez: The Limerick

Bill Shankly would spin in his grave

Watching Liverpool’s Suarez behave.

From the “bastion of invincibility”

To football’s moral liability.

This proud club has become depraved. 

On the Passing of Emile Griffith

Benny Paret’s body went into a bag

After he called Emile Griffith a fag.

No one would suggest that his actions were sound

But homophobes would think twice when Emile was around.

The Suspension of Ryan Braun

So sad to see

Ryan B

Banned from Baseball

For using the PED.

The tragedy

Isn’t for MLB

Or Brewers fans

From Milwaukee.

It hits brutally

The Jewish community

For whom sports’ heroes appear

With limited frequency.

Early Preview of the 2014 Tour de France

Please God, let Froome and Wiggins have a massive falling out.

A vicious rivalry would make the next Tour something to get excited about.

For the sake of entertainment, there’s no good reason why

These two champions both ride for Team Sky.

A hefty slice of mutual hate

Should make next year’s race extra great. 

Phil Mickelson's Victory at The Open

Phil Mickelson tamed Muirfield

While Tiger was succumbing.

Great golf rounds are like mafia hits.

You never see them coming.

Ode to Ian Bell

The first two Test Matches

For this year’s Ashes

Have not been played too well.

The difference ’tween the sides

Is not that wide.

It’s the batting of Ian Bell.

Jimmy Anderson’s pace

Has caused Aussie disgrace.

He’s bowled some decent spells.

Add a knock by Joe Root
To leave no dispute

Australian hopes have bid farewell. 

Haiku Regarding British Tour de France Fans' Ultimate Dilemma

Wiggins, Cavendish

Or Froome? Pick your hero, Earth’s

Top cycling nation.

Short Poem on the American Media's Obsession with Tiger Woods

Hey American media,

There are other golfers.

Your Tiger-centric coverage of every tournament is grating.

And now he’s not cheating on his wife
I think you'll find

He’s really not that fascinating. 

Haiku Addressing the Issues of Loyalty and Fandom Concerning Wayne Rooney's Potential Transfer from Manchester United to Chelsea

Rooney to Chelsea?

Jerry Seinfeld was spot on.

You’re cheering for shirts.  

William Blake on Tiger Woods

Tiger Tiger, burning bright

Playing golf without delight

What prize money or trophy

Could halt thy endless misery?

Thoughts on the Major League Baseball All-Star Game Dictating Home Field Advantage for the World Series

It is a preposterous situation

To decide the World Series’ Game Seven location

And ignore the season-long competition

In favour of the result of one exhibition.

Baseball should be an honest meritocracy.

This decree from the ratings-driven autocracy

Is the ultimate sports hypocrisy. 

Very Silly Verses Celebrating Chris Froome's Historic Triumph on Mont Ventoux

Chris Froome

Lowered the boom

To zoom

And effortlessly consume

Mont Ventoume.

Now the Alps loom,

Spelling doom

For the rest of the peltoom.

Who can only presume

More of the soome. 

Pain vs Pleasure at The Ashes

After 136 years of biannual clashes

There remains a rare beauty to watching The Ashes.

The ultimate Tests of cricketing drama

Where defeat will result in National trauma.

The spotlight ensures that each over gets tougher

While both sets of fans continually suffer.

Aussies and Poms are both truly blessed

Enduring sports rivalry at its nerve-fraying best.

Double Haiku for #bbctms

English summer gloom

Uplifted by the wonder

Of Test Match Special.

Riveting Ashes,

Broadcast with joy and panache.

Aggers, do stop it.

The Much-Missed Alex Karras

The soul of Alex Karras was seen

In invisible trenches before the Hollywood screen.

A stage where violence and necessary roughness

Taught a gentle soul the real meaning of toughness.

Man enough to play gay straight.

Heart of a Lion. An all-time great. 

The Pros and Cons of Mark Cavendish

Casual fans didn’t get the memo

When the Manx Missile won Milan-San Remo.

He needed the help of a team with real zip

To win the World Road Race Championship.

Britain’s most audacious pedallist

Still isn’t an Olympic medallist.

The Green Jersey

Didn’t come easy.

And he’s rattled plenty of cages

Winning 25 Tour de France stages.

It definitely far from far-sighted

To point out that he’ll never be knighted.

On top of it all, he really can’t climb.

All irrelevant. Mark Cavendish is the greatest sprinter of all-time.

Haiku Assessing the Political Reality of David Cameron's Ascension to the Position of Andy Murray's Prime Cheerleader

Cameron lauding

Murray’s victory; shameless

Glory scavenger.

Jamie Roberts' Tears

Jamie Roberts' tears
Falling on Sydney grass,
Each one an unburdening of a soul.
An honest appreciation of a moment of beauty in his life.

A realisation
Beyond sports immortality. Each drop
An illustration that
The lesson and importance of victorious Lions tours
Transcends cheers and beers and hyperbolic newspaper columns.

The colossus turned physician,
Dedicated to helping others,
Understood.

We're at our best when we work together.

Reviewing the Djokovic vs Del Potro Wimbledon Semifinal Thriller

Juan Martin Del Potro
Put on a helluva show.

He made Novak Djokovic
Schvitz.

Reflection on Andy Murray Reaching The Wimbledon Semi-Finals

His critics have been silenced, drowned out by cheers.

Andy Murray has reached the Wimbledon semi-finals for the last five years.

This year it’s Janowicz, then Djokovic. The challenge is forewritten.

His racket bags carry the hopes of Great Britain.

A nation watches as Murray steps onto court.

More weight on his shoulders than anyone else in sport.

His gaunt face tells its own story. A pressure that will always remain.

A hero still haunted by the ghosts of Dunblane. 

#LionsTour: The Great Matt Stevens Mystery

The charming young fellow called Matt,

Who the outside world views at fat,

Was given a red vest

With no chance of a Test.

So where was the logic to that?